Travelers beware: buckle up, and enjoy the wild ride in Beantown. A humorous look at Boston driving.
Boston in the summer is a beautiful thing. Flowers are blooming. Fit, young professionals jog the paths along the Charles River. And the beloved Red Sox are playing ball.
But as any visitor and Bostonian knows, the Boston streets are not safe. This isn’t in reference to crime, but to actual driving. Kindly put, Boston drivers are extremely aggressive on the roadways. It's not entirely their fault for being overly aggressive drivers. The downtown’s difficult to navigate causing anyone to take out their frustrations and becoming an aggressive driver. The following tips will help travelers navigate Beantown’s streets safely.
Tip #1: Be Aware of the Big Dig. Boston has been torn up for years in order to well, no one seems to be sure what the purpose of the Big Dig is, other than to confuse visitors coming into the city. The confusing web of downtown streets was mapped prior to the invention of the automobile making some roadways narrow.
Because of the Big Dig, two-way streets have been converted to one-ways and roads have been closed off. The Big Dig could be used to boost population levels by capturing those who are navigationally challenged. People can find their way downtown (usually) but cannot find their way out. These poor souls can be utilized as city employees.
Tip #2: Drive Defensively. Taffic rules seem to be nonexistent with Boston's aggressive drivers. The only rule the police seem to enforce is the pedestrian right-of-way-upon-entering-a-cross-walk law. Other than that, the cops probably figure the drivers are too crazy to worry about.
Tip #3: Lanes are Guidelines. Some Boston streets seem to be one giant lane. Travelers driving through are advised to keep the hands firmly gripped on the steering wheel and just keep going. Eighteen-wheelers threaten to ram drivers into the cement walls of tunnels, but keep looking ahead and keep on going.
Tip # 4: Colorful Lights. Seems as though traffic lights enhance Boston's natural scenery rather than control traffic. When stopping for a red light, drivers should be aware most cars continue through the light. Drivers are advised to do what makes them comfortable in Boston intersections. When making a left turn and the green arrow does not exist, once the light turns from red to green, drivers are advised to put the foot on the gas pedal, close their eyes, pray to their god and go.
Tip #5: Round and Round and Round. Rotaries - or round-abouts - or traffic circles - or "let me outta here" circles are peppered throughout Boston. Most American travelers aren’t comfortable with rotaries and end up stuck going round and round. There always seems to be confusion when to yield and when to turn. Best advice is to just keep going.
Tip #6: Remember, Boston Drivers are Extremely Friendly. Bostonians like to wave to travelers. Tragically, many of these people only have one finger.
Tip #7: Taxi! If possible, do not drive! Shuttles and taxis easily transport visitors throughout Boston or there is “The T” (the subway). Boston is a terrific and easy city to walk and taxis are plentiful, too.
Note: The author does not condone the breaking of any traffic laws and encourages travelers to use Boston’s public transportation system operated by the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority.More in Suite101: The Flavor of Boston's North End, Walking Boston's Freedom Trail, Boston Commons
